depressed.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
i really miss him.
i saw my name in his textbook(s) and words saying 'you dno how much i love you' this and that ;(
i feel so guilty and pathetic. i've always asked him to go away, but he was still there. even if i treated him like shit, he didnt give up. but once i was with him, things change. i rarely message him, even if i do. it'll be just for awhile to say goodnight or whatsoever. haaaih. then the day i said 'fuckoff' . i was just mad. cause i was suppose to see him, he said he was coming to see me. i havent seen him for days. i miss him. ): i was so stupid and ignorant. it wasnt his fault he couldnt come ba. why did i have to say fuck off? ;s and he's a guy, he needs time to play with his pal(s) wa. UGH! i wish i could go back in time and change everything.
i know i may sound pathetic. but i just cried my heart out. i seriously never cried like this before. just now, when i looked at him. i just felt so happy and sad at the same time. :'/ he looked at me too, cause i was like staring at him? then i just didnt stop looking. i just couldnt. i really wanted to tell him how sorry i am. but i did that. alot of time. and i bet, it woudnt change anything. i will still be ignored.
hey dude. mm, im seriously sorry! okay?? talk to me please. im not sad if im not in a relationship with you i just miss talking to you, being friends with you. doing stupid stuff with you. CANT YOU JUST GET HOW I FEEL? ;( im madly inlove with you. i can honestly say that. everyone knows that. and you know that. you promissed. YOU DID! i tried a million times to apologise. i really have. :'/ i've never made a fool out of myself infront of any of my past ex/boyfriend. youre the first. and im already begging.
