depressed.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
i really miss him.
i saw my name in his textbook(s) and words saying 'you dno how much i love you' this and that ;(
i feel so guilty and pathetic. i've always asked him to go away, but he was still there. even if i treated him like shit, he didnt give up. but once i was with him, things change. i rarely message him, even if i do. it'll be just for awhile to say goodnight or whatsoever. haaaih. then the day i said 'fuckoff' . i was just mad. cause i was suppose to see him, he said he was coming to see me. i havent seen him for days. i miss him. ): i was so stupid and ignorant. it wasnt his fault he couldnt come ba. why did i have to say fuck off? ;s and he's a guy, he needs time to play with his pal(s) wa. UGH! i wish i could go back in time and change everything.
i know i may sound pathetic. but i just cried my heart out. i seriously never cried like this before. just now, when i looked at him. i just felt so happy and sad at the same time. :'/ he looked at me too, cause i was like staring at him? then i just didnt stop looking. i just couldnt. i really wanted to tell him how sorry i am. but i did that. alot of time. and i bet, it woudnt change anything. i will still be ignored.
hey dude. mm, im seriously sorry! okay?? talk to me please. im not sad if im not in a relationship with you i just miss talking to you, being friends with you. doing stupid stuff with you. CANT YOU JUST GET HOW I FEEL? ;( im madly inlove with you. i can honestly say that. everyone knows that. and you know that. you promissed. YOU DID! i tried a million times to apologise. i really have. :'/ i've never made a fool out of myself infront of any of my past ex/boyfriend. youre the first. and im already begging.
Friday, July 30, 2010
YAAAAAAAAAY!
im friend with her again ANIZ. uhhuh. aw. im so glad. haha. see. my name, 'GLAD'ys uhhuh. thats my name. HAHA. well, im really glad im friends with her again. and never again would i want to fight over something small. i dont want that to happen D: anyway, i have to tick that off my 'must to do list' i still have alot to go. like for one eg. make peace with him? :/
WAAALAAAAAAAU. why must i keep talking about him leh? BOO. shutup brain, shut up.
bahbah. another short post nia, im tired, got school tomorrow. and i'm not well.
so//
GOODNIGHT :D xxo
I
STILL
♥
YOU
CAN DONT?
im with someone now. mm. gosh. cant explain. complicated. just giving that dude a chance, cause its been 3 months? and wasting people's time like that, its cold :/
yeeh. so hm. i dont know la. i feel so weird right now? -.- giving me pet name(s) eee.
nevermind. lets make peace. i'll see how it turns out. i'mma be okaay. LOL.
gosh! im blank. haaih. till here la.
OH YEEEH! tie caifang :D
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
hello my bloggie. i miss you so so very muchie. HAHAH apaakan!
anywaaaay, im having alot of fun here. im at caifang's crib. we've been playing around since yesterday, and oh yeeh! its fun. HAHA. dont really feel like going home or to school. cause i aint looking forward to seeing my test papers ;s gosh. i think i fail all ah this first trial.
yesterday, i went out to gadong with brent them :D very funnnnn. *he was there too. but then, i didnt really care la. cause i was having fun. plus, i dont wanna show any of my feelings towards anyone anymore. i'll just be waiting till you come around. so yeeh, call me when you do. okaaay? :D HAHAHA. apaakan.
and and! HAPPPY BIRTHDAY TRACY LIEW ING SHIAAAAN!
sooo, till here? :D i wanna go sleep. HAHAHA, later going to gadong again. to celebrate the girl above's birthday. LOL. baaaah. byeee :D
Saturday, July 24, 2010
"the post. you saw ' thank you my best ex-friend'
yeh. SHE WROTE IT. obviously. its cold as ice. sting you like bee. wtf man. how could she? i never even said a WORD about her that is mean. like seriously wa, she called me a bitch behind my back? :'s like wtfuck? she said i hate her? HAVE I EVER SAID THAT? and i never listened to her advice? HAVE SHE EVER GIVEN ME ADVICE THAT I NEVER LISTENED TO?
"a bestfriend would always be there for you
standin up for you, not her man
but where are you when im needin you?
oh right youre with your man"
like seriously. get a hold of yourself! when you need help you come asking me, if there's nothing. no text at all. like when your in a fight with him? HUH? who text him? WHO??? tell me la! CHIBAILANCIT! c'mon la. stop with that crap. and there's more,
"he's over you, why cant you accept?
its a fact, you cant change"
HAAA! and thats how you comfert me? by making me feel worse?? and excuse me,
"i know youre pissed at me
i know you hate me too
but i dont know whats the reason
and what caused these fuckin chaos too"
DID I EVER EVEN SAY I HATED YOU? can dont?? please?! huh??
"remember when i tried to talk to you?
you know im fucking sad at that time too
but why did you ran away?"
"YOU EVEN PUSHED ME AWAY AND PLAY ALONG WITH THE GUYS"
so can you please refresh my memorry? tell me, when did i not talk to you? OR AND WHEN HAVE I PUSHED YOU AWAY?? i was always dragging you in. cant you see that? huh?? your the who's been doing all the pushing. i was always alone. and sometime stuff you say really hurts me. but i diam nia. please la. think before you write. cause you seriously ugh. i cant describe how i feel right now. i felt so sick to my guts today. and the reason i cant over him is because its hard. havent you thought of how much im trying? how much pain i go through everyday?! how im feeling right now? whats happening when im at home?? you dont know right?? :'s so please, dont go writing stuff that is so cruel. cause i seriously am in the bottomless pitt and i all i need is for my friends to understand. like seriously, i miss my mom&i miss him. CANT ANYONE FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME?! ;'(
bestfriend has its own meaningbut i dont think i can see the meaning in you
girl you are amazing
but bestfriend is so not you
you said you understand me
in every situation im in
i dont think you even know me
nor how im feelin
a bestfriend would always be there for you
standin up for you, not her man
but where are you when im needin you?
oh right youre with your man
ive always tried my best
to make you forget your guy
but youre just like the rest
just keep on cry and cry
i gave you advices
but youre not worth given
i gave you the nicest
you still never listen
you dont understand the point of love
neither do i, i would say
but theres a lot of guys around the globe
choose any of them, you may
he's over you, why cant you accept?
its a fact, you cant change
forget him, take a nap
and move on, make a change
he got his own life
you know it better
in your dreams, you can stab him with a knife
but in reality, you cant do so ever
i know youre pissed at me
i know you hate me too
but i dont know whats the reason
and what caused these fuckin chaos too
all i want you to know is
i hate you too
dont pretend youre so nice
it only makes me feel like wanna puke
i know you rather choose them instead of me
i'd rather choose them too instead of you
although we have been friends for so long
but i never get you, and you never get me either
remember when i tried to talk to you?
you know im fucking sad at that time too
but why did you ran away?
YOU EVEN PUSHED ME AWAY AND PLAY ALONG WITH THE GUYS
yes, do you know how that feels?
i dont think so
is that what you call bestfriends?
if it is, then you have the wrong meaning of it
thank you, my best ex-friend
nothing is helping
Friday, July 23, 2010
nothing is helping me get over you. but, i can feel that i dont miss you that much anymore.
but when i start to miss you, i really miss you alot ;s
anywaaaaaaay, im sick. agaaaaain.
i keep vomiting, and sneezing.
whenever i eat, i suddenly feel the urge to throw up. like wtf? ;s
EWWW.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaih. i so misss you. still.
gladys ah gladys! can dont??
i really dont want to be -.-
baaah, bye. till here ):
i hope i die. LOL
Mom, you're a wonderful mother,
So gentle, yet so strong.
The many ways you show you care
Always make me feel I belong.You're patient when I'm foolish;
You give guidance when I ask;
It seems you can do most anything;
You're the master of every task.You're a dependable source of comfort;
You're my cushion when I fall.
You help in times of trouble;
You support me whenever I call.I love you more than you know;
You have my total respect.
If I had my choice of mothers,
You'd be the one I'd select!
Mom, without you, there would be no me.
Your love, your attention, your guidance,
have made me who I am.
Without you, I would be lost,
wandering aimlessly,
without direction or purpose.
You showed me the way
to serve, to accomplish, to persevere.
Without you, there would be an empty space
I could never fill, no matter how I tried.
Instead, because of you,
I have joy, contentment, satisfaction and peace.
Thank you, mom.
I have always loved you
and I always will.
hm :'(( i seriously suddenly miss my mom. its been 9 years since i've seen her. talking through the phone isn't the same like talking in reality. i really need my mom. i miss her. if she was here, i wonder if i'm what i am now. this mess up kid who is so goddamn stupid. gosh. haaih. seriously. if i could fly to philippines now, i would ;((
facebook is such a bitch D:
i was doing the friend interview thingy on facebook. then all of a sudden. it asked ;
Do you think "!@##$%^&$@!$#" is a romantic person?
WTFOK? atleast ask something better? D: it always ask stupid idiotic time of question. and it really isn't helping me getting him out of my mind. PFT. haaaih. till here. -.-
WOO
Thursday, July 22, 2010
HELLO :P
just got back from pasar malam with Yuan, Caifang, Siew ling, Crystal. and yes. Ing shian too. but me and yuan saw her hen the others went home. and and, THANK YOU YUAN :D for bringing me home. hehe. XXO! loves lots. HAHA.
hm. today leh, sorta wasn't in the mood. felt so left out from the gang tadi. PFT. ask them go jub with me, they reply' you go first la, meet you there' and 'you go la. i lazy go' or 'you go la, see you there later' who was i suppose to be with if i have gone alone? D: so yeh, i went to the emo mode -.- then suddenly chloe ask if wanna go jub, i was already fed up so i shouted at her then i walk away. i know. but who wouldn't be pissed? i was like sitting there alone. till they dont have people to talk to baru go sit with me. wtf? :'(( haaaih. i waited till they wanted to go, wait till i was in tuition. PFT. dont know la. i lazy to layan also.
kanaasai. they didnt even know why i was pissed. dissapointed :'// im always the 'backup' person. someone to entertain them when their bored.
hm. till here.
haaaih. ):
all the memories we had.
trying to smile and laugh
when all i really wanna do,
is cry and shout.
thinking back about what i said,
i regretted it and gagged.
i can see that you really hate me,
but i don't get why you have to ignore me.
walking pass me like I'm some kind of stranger,
well, i guess our love is endangered.
i miss our hugs and kisses.
oh gosh! i tore us into bits and pieces.
remembering,
how we used to play and huddled.
it made me giggled and even cried a little.
still loving you
is one thing i wish i could not do.
but,
it was me who wanted to be through,
so why am i still trying to undo?
seeing you in school is so dreadful,
it brings back all the memory that were so cheerful.
i start weeping when i hear you close by,
it feels just like a lullaby.
my heart sank when i see you smile,
cause i know we're miles apart.
i may be weepy,
but i ain't weak.
i'll try to be over you,
in about a week.
i never regretted being with you,
because,
compared to them,
i only thought of you.
都是我的错。 我不对。 ）：
可是， 我真的还很喜欢你。
i have to stop.
hm. i wrote it for him ;(
pft! #$#%#&@#^
i just need time.
love the way you lie. stole it from chris. :'D
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Here I am just waitin for my time to come
Cause ever since you left ive been cold down depressed and numb
Ive been blinded subdued gagged and my heart’s beating but the pulse has begun to stop
Friends cant begin too understand what im going thru with you
E-ve-ry-day’s day’s a battle and ev-e-ry second im losing you
But im losing even more of me more that I could possibly have the capability to hold in my soul’s capacity
Im slowly fading into the darkness slowly decomposing into nothing to be honest yeah my life’s a mess
Its not the stress that’s killing me
It’s the thought of you never leaving me
I can’t even bare to imagine being with you for eternity without any space between you and me
I need more than a timeout that a referee can give me
You tried to fixed this already messed up relationship
Tellin me that it’ll be alright
Tellin me time will mend it
And eventually we’ll move on
But I ‘ve heard it all before
And this is getting old sing a new a song
But you’ll be lying if you told me I didn’t love you
Cause I woulda given up my life for you
Scale the highest tower run thru the hottest fire
Jumped right thru barbed wires
Name it I woulda done it without even a hint of hesiatation
Makin you happy was my only mission
Maybe that was my problem I had tunnel vision
My peripherals were off therefore I didn’t see you
Lying cheating and killing me
Basically I was unaware when u started the poisoning
And now there’s no antidote to relieve me of my suffering
Cause the damage has been done and no cure can ever
heal the scars that you left in me
you were everything to me
now im staring at the ceiling
stole it from chris's rapper brother :D
GG.com -.-
TODAY MATHS LEH..
so effin ridiculously hard. i was so nervous till when i tried handing the paper to teacher i keep shaking like what there -.- then i sit facing the wall lagi. so imba pekcek. HAAAIH.
then during commerce test. woaaaah. tsktsk. so to the damn imba lor. :P brian went to tease the teacher, you know? sorta bully her? LOL. kelian her also. me and brian were the last one to finish the test. it was hard -.- anywaaay, when the teacher was about to take the paper, that brian go there dance and sing got a kit kat -.- LOL. like got to get get? HAHA. siaaao. i laughing there non stop. then the ussual thing began,
GO CANTEEN, talk laugh played till 12 went to tuiton. this and that. haha. thats all i guess. and and, i drop my teacher's phone D: by accident. LOL. sekadar/ so yeeh. till here.
TRALALA!
FUNNY STORY :b
i've got something that is seriously very effin hilarious. i think it was 2 days ago. was it? LOL. anywaaaaaaaaaaaay,
me, aniz, iss, chris and chloe went to jub. we wanted to play pool but then it wasn't open yet. so we went to ahantai. then i told aniz about the ahantai guy, what he always do when we come. then she said VERY LOUDLY '' which one? the guy in the black shirt? he creeps me out'' i was like WTF. hahaha. then you know aniz, not caring about what anyone think just ignored me and laughed like she always do. her whole body shaking. HAHA :P kidding niz! its cute. so skip ahantai story. its kinda boring.
after that, i decided to go up using the elevator. and 'explore' HAHA. so yeeh. we went in. and that chris was like. ''where are we going?'' then he went to sat in the corner. he said that he was afraid of the lift and what if it dropped? then y'kno what i did? :p I JUMPED. hahahah! (A) you should have seen his face. HAHA. cute man. we went to the top floor first. the 6th floor. it was kinda creepy. but we didnt really go out to see what was around. cause its just like a small hallway. not to mention creepy too. then we went to the 5th floor, there waas a door and a sign 'do not disturb' was hanging on the door knob. but you know little kids like me, no means yes :P HAHA. soo, as i open the door. just slightly halfwaay open, they ran back to the lift -.- and ofcourse i'll be like wtf dont leave me. WHO WOULDNT? its creepy y'know? ): so yeeh. i almost got terkapit by the lift's door -.- lol. so we went down another floor. (or was it another another floor?) wooo~ this time. aniz went out first. then when i was about to follow her. they pulled me back into the lift and pressed the close button. aniz was like still going. i was like, 'niz niz! they gonna leave you' it was effin hilarious. chris was like grabbing me from the back keep puling me back in and closing the door. CHRIS leh. that skinny little dude :P
by the time i wanted to press 'open door' it was already closed. i was like panicking 'why you leave aniz there?' over and over and over again. HAHA. for some reason i was afraid something might get her. y'kno what i mean? :0 BOO! haha. so yeeh. that iss go press the 1st floor then i go press the 2nd floor cause i seriously was panicking for no reason. HAHA. then we went out of the lift on the second floor and then went in the other lift and went up again.
so,
while the door was opening.
i saw something but i wasn't sure.
then when the door opened i screamed like hell in the lift -.- ofcourse everybody scream la. y'kno why? ;s cause we saw aniz standing there like what. wearing baju kurong. her front hair sorta covering her eyes. EEE. creepy ah. then was dark lagi tu. give me a fright of my life. so yeh, i recovered from that quickly cause she started to laugh again. HAHA. then we went down, aniz needed to use the potty :b she gots to pee. HAHA. so yeh, iss keep asking me to scare her. i did. but i failed. TWICE -.- buuhuu. NOOB. hhaah. so..
that aniz leh, still not satisfied. she go press the life then went inside. i was like holding the lift door and asking her where she wanna go. just when i ask her to come out, a secuirity guard at jub scolded us. he asked us to get out from the building D: how cruel of him. HAHA. so yeeh. we were banned. but just awhile. me, chris, iss and chloe went back in again later. to play pool. HAHA. i so yeh. the rest isnt that intresting anymore :p
THE END.
MATH-ATTACK :0
OMFG. my head really hurts -.- i like it when i know how to do. but then when i get stuck i'll be like screw you. HAHA. at this point i think i'll fail de la ): HAAAIH. so nooob. LOL. i really really really hope i'll pass! at leat 50?? LOL. ameeeen! :D i'm having flu. i keep coughing. blahblahblah.
i havent sleep good for almost a week now. geng leh? HAHA. wtfok -.- i just took a break. so i decided to blog again :D third post today. woo. haha. im back into the blogging mode. haaih. i'm still so effin sad :/ SCREW HIM.
mmbah. my math boook is waiting for me ;p
ME+YOU=
!#%$#^%
:P
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
BTW! new blog skin. HAHAH. sekaadar. BOO. my maths how neh? ;s i really dont know how to go and study le. and i seriously dont intend to fail again D: tsktsk.
till here!
BYE!
FALALALA!
its time for me face that perfect day. with or without you. ;))
i have to stop this obssesion once and for all. your not the only guy out there. now that im single i can go with whoever i want. but ofcourse right now i still have feelings for you. mm. but give me a few days time. i'll show you. i can be like how i was before. not caring if you ignore me or whatever. i did it once and i promisse you i can do it again. cause that is what you want right? and plus, i've gotten over alot of people already. hm. you know i tried everything, but still.. ITS TOO LATE.. to apologise. LOL.
even yesterday i stayed up till 4 to see if you reply. sohai right? :b HAAA! thanks for making me cry again. ok ok. very open liao. SHH.
i really have to get you out of my mind. i got to study (A) paktoh can wait. right right? haha! and and caaaause, people is tired of me talking about him eveeeeeeeeerytime. WHOOOPSSSY. HAHA. sooooooo, i guess i have a new task? :D
- ignore you
- hide.
-ignore you.
-concentrate.
-ignore you.
-smile.
-ignore you.
-dont talk about you
-ignore you &&
&
-GET OVER YOU!
FALALALALALA!
im ready~ im ready~ im ready~
<3>
muaaaaaaks.
D:
Monday, July 19, 2010
DUDE.
i miss you ah. i really cannot see your face. once i just catch a glimps of you, i want to cry -.-' like an idiot. i want to text you. but then, what for also? you wont reply. kaaan? :D yeeh. i know you wont. haaaih. happen twice already. all my fault for being so lin c. want break de shi wo, want you back also me. CAN DONT? D: you promissed you wont ignore me weeeh. no matter whaat. haaaih. say t nia ha? :/ i always treated you so bad before.
我真的很想你。 我也是很后悔。 我不是故意要那样根你讲话的，对不起。）： 我真的要你回。 我超级的对你有感觉。 可是。。 你都不要根我 讲话了， 连看都不要。我讲了几百个对不起。可是你还是一样的。
我真的要放弃， 可是我每一天都会看到你在学校。我那里能做得到。
..李俊荣..
我还是很爱你。
):
please oh please.
i wish that my wishes will come true.
everytime i look into your eyes.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
I still hear your voice around,
Like an echo
Everything's in a mess
Why this feeling turns so cold,
Freezing in the darkness, so alone.
Everytime I look into your eyes,
I can tell you our love is still alive,
It's killing me, Oh Baby~
Everytime I look into my eyes,
I rather hear the truth than live in all your lies
I'm so lost, I'm so hurt for you,
How could I survive ?
Would it be the very last kiss ?
All thoose memories, all those sorrows
Fade away.
Everytime I look into your eyes,
I can tell you our love is still alive,
It's killing me, Oh Baby~
Everytime you look into my eyes,
I rather hear the truth than live in all your lies
I'm so lost , I'm so hurt for you,
How could I survive ?
all i want is you.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
how you kiss me at night.
i miss the way we sleep
like there's no sunrise.
i miss our conversation about nothing till midnight.
how we huddle till daylight. i really regreted not saying i love you more when i could, hug you when i should, hold you when i needed to. told you everything when you wanted to know. talk more when we had nothing to say. OMFG. i really am very sorry. its 16th tomorrow and i dont feel like going to school at all. but i should :/ haaaaih. its a month now. since we last talk. everything on my status, pm i write about you. i dont even know why i became so obssesed like this. i feel so lame. pft. maybe i should foget you and move on. accept him be happy? HAAAH! i wish ;(
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
♥ I MISS YOU ♥
please talk to me
