life just started crumbling down on me..
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
i feel so very useless. at some point, i really felt like jumping of that edge i've been standing on. i couldn't take it anymore. i really wanted to end it all. all that pain and suffering i've been feeling since my mom left. i never knew how blind you could get once you started to really love someone. i never knew how much it would hurt to get your heart brokened, not until the day he dumped me. people who i really cared about, people who i really loved, just left me behind, without any resons. i was left alone to think. when i didnt even do anthing wrong. i tried to just concentrate on my studies, but then things distracted me. all i wanted was to stop thinking and feeling. people dont understand how i truly feel, the pain that keeps me up at night cause i cant stop crying. i am happy, but just for a little while. i need someone, i need someone to care and someone who is always there. a friend at my darkest hour, and family when i'm at my worst. life is just a fucking mess for me.
and the reason i do what i do, is because i dont know what else to do. :'s
